The big event of July was my graduation on the 20th (although not quite stopped the couch surfing yet) and my parents came back to the U.K. from Canada to attend. I’m just going to post a few pictures to show the day in a nutshell! It was fantastic and is still odd to call myself and my friends official ‘language graduates’!
From there I worked then spent a week in Wales cut off from the rest of the world which was bliss. Sometimes one just needs to have no phone reception to let them escape from the domination of technology. Sad but true.
And then I had a weekend with my parents… also seeing Nicole, an old friend, for the first time in four years! It was such a good catch up and amazing to see where our degrees and lives have taken us.
And this brought us to Sunday 7th August…
Time has flown since I last took a moment to write something down. (written on the 7th August). I have neglected this blog and not scribbled down my outbursts and experiences for a pretty long time.
Today is a reaction to my parents returning to Canada. Like many people, my strong emotional response just makes me want to write out everything. I guess it’s one of my coping methods although I do also enjoy it so this is a highlight of blurting out my thoughts and feelings.
Once again my family headed in different directions. My parents drove off in one direction to Heathrow Airport, I drove in the opposite direction to Staffordshire to visit my grandparents and my brother cycled down the road back to the farm rolling a suitcase behind him (very comical bonkers moment)… I can’t describe how it feels to say goodbye. Well, it’s better to say a “see you later” as it doesn’t sound too ominous or sad. I feel like we’re used to this pattern of time together and time apart as they moved to Calgary a while ago! Yet I know that come the morning of their departure – or mine to return to the UK – my family still haven’t quite got the hang of our waterworks. I know that we’re very lucky as a family, that we’re all in good health, we have technology to keep us in contact, and the opportunities to see more of the world… But sometimes I feel like the kid who pulled the short straw. And I just can’t help it. As we change and grow up we make new homes for ourselves, leaving our parents behind in order for us to go off and explore the big wide world alone. I wear a bracelet on my wrist with my favourite quote “home is where the heart is” because 1. I am a very profound person who is at times way too emotional, and 2. because I’m still looking for that “home“.
My experience of the first day in August 2013 my mum and brother left has slightly tarnished my subsequent reactions and behaviour towards any situation that relates to my parents moving away. To be frank, I don’t trust anyone to open up to. Not because I don’t have trustworthy friends – but who the hell is going to understand me? Close to none. I thought I had a friend on that day that I could trust in to just get me through the day and help with the waterworks. Instead, they had to be asked by their mother to hug me. Really? That’s what I get? All those years of friendship and support for this?
It’s difficult because many of my friends feel disassociated from their childhood homes and can say they only see their parents a few times a year too. Therefore, I found myself in a rut a year after my parents had moved. I am one of those people who manages to accidentally and completely unexpectedly (even to myself) pick the time and place that involves many friends and family bunched together in a static caravan to basically… have a little breakdown. It will never happen again (I promise parents) and although it’s cringy to look back on, it was going to happen at some point. I can’t ever explain to any of my friends how it feels when my parents leave to fly 5,000 miles away. It never gets easier not knowing when I’ll see them next, how the time difference sometimes gets in the way of the day, how the few moments we have together right now add up to what feels like a day. When, in fact, it’s been three Christmases, a summer and their visits back to the UK. Does any of the above that even make sense? Most likely not. But that’s okay 🙂 This is the last post I think I’ll write about my parents being abroad because I believe the dust has finally settled. Us four are
good no, great. And the future is full of opportunity, love and enjoying life.
as of last Wednesday evening… my couch surfing days are over. (For now, I don’t want to jinx myself!) I’m looking forward to not have to sleep in tiny caravan beds, sofas, other people’s bed or even the last resort option of my cars back seats! It’s the August Bank Holiday weekend here so I’m sure many people will be out in the sunshine enjoying their free time… So I hope you Brits are too! And to everyone else, have a lovely weekend.